We’ve got the dirt on last month’s poll about the lint roller with a vibrator hidden inside. 62% of you would gladly take L’Intimate out for a spin, while just 12% want it to stay hidden. We’re also proud to report that 27% of you don’t bother to hide your sex toys at all. Now, that’s what we call “true grit.” Stick with us, because L’Intimate might be rolling into a store near you soon.
This week’s contestant on Turn On or Buzz Off is a vibrating bra. Or as its Chinese manufacturer Pangao calls it, a “Breast Enhancer.” Why would you want such a product? Allow the very enlightened feminists at Pangao’s marketing department to explain:
A well-developed and sexy cleavage is a symbol of a female’s charm. The female breasts are not only meant for feeding babies; they are an important part of a woman’s body. Every woman dreams of having beautiful and sexy breasts as this is perceived as being attractive.
Pangao Breast Enhancer is the best gift for every woman. By using it often, it can prevent and cure breast diseases and enhance the shape of one’s cleavage.
But how does this miracle product work? Read on:
PANGAO Breast Enhancer stimulates the female breast, accelerates blood circulation and activates cell renewal and hormone secretion through physical massage by the vibration balls found within the enhancer. Thus, the female breast is obviously enlarged and will look more rounded, sexy and youthful
PANGAO Breast Enhancer effectively pushes up the breast, dredges breast glands, eliminates blood stasis and prevents breast diseases and breast from flaccid. It also moves fat from problem areas to give a well-shaped figure. If used often, it can prevent insomnia, increase immunity to diseases and assist in better internal secretion.
Wow, it’s too bad the name “Wonder Bra” was already taken! And if you don’t believe the copywriters from Pangao, just check out the celebrity endorsements. Here’s a clip of Ellen DeGeneres and Jennifer Aniston dredging their breast glands on national television.
As sex positive folks who like breasts in all shapes and sizes, we’re not sure that the vibrating bra is something we can, uh, support. Our cups runneth over with companies preying on women’s insecurities to make a quick buck. Still, the boobs running Pangao may have another agenda in mind. Vibrators of yore were often sold for their “health” properties, so perhaps this vibrating bra is really a stealth sex toy. Would the extra jiggle make you giggle? Does the vibrating bra make you titter? Or just angry and bitter?
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